Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
