"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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