I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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