when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Randomize
