is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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