Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
