saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize