Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
