I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
