Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
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