Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
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