we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
