Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I think I am morally bankrupt
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Drunk is not a location!
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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