we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
