i would punch a child for taco bell
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
