like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
