I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
