i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
