I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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