he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
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