Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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