I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize