I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize