I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
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Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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