Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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