there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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