What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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