He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
tell me about the fingering
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