Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Randomize
