I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
