I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I want a musical about memes.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
