genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
