So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
