Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Barsexuality is the new black.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
