Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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