I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize