He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Someone shattered a urinal.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
