we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
