happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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