Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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