The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Ladies don't puke and tell
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
