I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
My balls are so social today.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Randomize