she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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