I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
kristin has been a bad kristin
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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