You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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