fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
he just fucked me for my cheese.
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