I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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