there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
