Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
