i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Randomize
