I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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