Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
