A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
