Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
